


[Arby] Home

by RisenWritings



Category: Destiny (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Destiny, Destiny 2, F/F, Original Character(s), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Spoilers, Timelines
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-12
Updated: 2017-09-12
Packaged: 2018-12-27 07:08:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12076038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RisenWritings/pseuds/RisenWritings
Summary: During her fall Vax thinks about her life as a Guardian and her memories with her ghost.





	[Arby] Home

**Author's Note:**

> This contains **SPOILERS** of Destiny 2! At least of the first few missions, so if you've not played it yet or anything, please stop reading for now! Or stop reading after she wakes up again.

The first thing she remembers is the air in her lungs. The sweet, sweet, air. Except that it burns her throat, makes her cough. She catches her breath, looks up. The machine seems to look at her, inspect her for a split second before its processor whirs on and the machine nods. “Eyes up, Guardian.”

It leads her through a destroyed facility, crawling with strange creatures she’s never seen before, and hurries her towards a ship she did not recognise. It flies her to a City it told her she’d call home. Back then she did not realise how much meaning that word would carry.

The first time she’s sent on a mission the machine helps her, talks to her. She still hasn’t been able to find any words, goes through the mission wordlessly and gets herself a ‘warp drive’, a word she vaguely recalls hearing in a past life. This thought confused her back then, but she realises now. 

They’ve got free time for the first time. She’s standing at a cliff, looking out over the Cosmodrome, when she finally finds a word for herself, “Vax.” is all she says. And the machine looks at her, and seems to nod in agreement. She steps back on her sparrow.

She senses the wonder the machine has. Despite her being able to understand the language, she hasn’t yet been able to properly word her thoughts. The machine respects this, but she senses the faint frustration. It must be lonely.

When she first talks she’s defending herself from certain death. The machine seems to breathe rapidly, despite its inability to do so, to try and keep her alive. She chuckles grimly under her helmet, a sound unfamiliar even to her. She reloads her hand cannon and jumps out of the way of the thrall. “I never gave you a name.” are the first words she properly speaks to her machine. She can feel its surprise. 

“I never needed one.” the machine simply says in return, and she feels that to be the truth. 

She weighs the words, punching a thrall dead as she does. “It’s not about need,” she says, then gasping as a large Ogre emerged from a pool of Hive blood. “ _Shit_.” she gasps, reaching for her rocket launcher. 

She fears death for the first time. She has trouble finding the words, wanting them to be spoken before she dies. “I have had all the time to think about names, but I never told anybody how bad I am at them,” she murmurs, jumping up and shooting a rocket at the large creature. 

The machine is silent for a moment, keeping a close eye on her. “I do not understand the meaning of this.” 

She glances at the machine, it still hovering close to her despite the danger. “I’m saying I want to give you a name,” she explains, puffing out a breath when she lands and hides behind a rock to evade the Ogre’s fire. 

The machine follows her. “But why?” it wonders, “You haven’t spoken before now.” it recalls. 

She is silent for a moment, considers the questions and the heavy words. It is silent for a long time, apart from the gunfire. “If I die,” she starts, but the machine interrupts her. 

“You won’t,” it says defiantly, seeming to stare her down. 

His defiance surprises her, has her lower her rocket launcher for a moment, before the rock she’s hiding behind shatters apart and sends her flying into the air. She barely recovers, struggling for air by the sheer force of the explosion. “Ghost!” she shouts, and it understands. 

She never asks it about her past. She knows it knows all about her, knows it has researched her bones long before it resurrected her. Despite her burning curiosity she never asks. She wants to protect herself from the pain it has caused many guardians, she knows that sometimes the truth hurts more than not knowing.

She has her eyes closed, head resting against the pillar as she sits in the shadow cast upon her by the campfire. Ghost is resting in her open hands, but not sleeping. It is thinking about her, how she seems to have trouble talking to others about all she’s been through. Ghost worries, but it is afraid to tell her, for she would surely berate it. Not out of anger, but frustration, loss, sorrow. Pain. It knows she seeks answers it can give her, but it does not want to cause her more pain. It realises her previous life scarred even her next, and it weeps for her in silence, for he does not want to disturb her rest.  

When she hears the name it takes her breath away, Ghost feels her freezing. Her breath comes out in short puffs, she’s trying to help herself and Ghost pities her, for he can not help her with this. 

“Guardian,” it whispers, trying not to startle her. “He’s coming.” it then says, the radar starting to blink red all around them. 

And she nods, takes a deep breath, and grabs the Sword of Crota. _The Dark will not devour her._

She can feel Ghost’s worry for her wellbeing. She has taken an interest in the Hive after hearing his name, but she can not explain to it why it matters so much to her. She reads about the First Crota fireteam, their deaths. She weeps about them, and Ghost comforts her. She knows Ghost fears she will become like Toland the Shattered, but she knows she won’t be like that. She is too hurt. Ghost is too important for her to throw it away like Toland did. She can’t form the words to tell Ghost this. 

Before she enters the Black Garden she holds Ghost in her hands, close to her chest. She does not speak, it does not say anything. _If this is the end, we die together._ Words are not needed. 

The Light doesn’t stay for long. She wakes up one night in a cold sweat with a haunting vision. Ghost feels her distress and lies itself in her lap, wanting to comfort her. Her eyes flutter, she runs a hand over her face. “I saw her.” she simply says, and Ghost understands.

Eris Morn’s arrival changes her. Ghost feels a spark of Light returning in her dark heart. Feels her pain relieving ever so slightly whenever she is around Eris. Ghost understands the feelings, but it knows she doesn’t. He stays quiet, allows her to think the relief she feels is simply because Eris can provide her answers. But Eris takes one look at the Ghost, and she understands as well. The Ghost fears. 

When she hears the name whispered, a shiver creeps up her spine, makes her gasp and her knees almost give way. She stays standing, but Ghost responds.

“Again?” it asks, quietly inquiring about the other times it happened. 

She takes a deep breath and gets back upright. “It is just a name,” she says. “I will not be taken down every time I hear it.” 

Ghost hums in agreement, but she can still hear its edge of worry. “I am afraid we will have to fight him soon, we have been coming closer.” he says softly, almost delicately, afraid to hurt her. 

She does not respond to his worry. "Then I will be ready." she simply says, continuing to descend into the Hellmouth. _The Dark does not frighten her._

Going into Crota’s realm hurts Ghost, she can feel its Light diminishing. “Do not fear.” she whispers, more for herself than Ghost. She knows it will stay with her no matter what. She feels guilty for having spent so much time with Eris. She wants to apologise, sitting in a corner as her fireteam switches their gear around. 

“I do not fear, for I have you by my side.” Ghost whispers, even though only she can hear it. It knows she recognises the intimacy it is trying to convey. Trying to tell her, perhaps for the last time, that it is _her_  Ghost and it will stay that way until both perish. The one can’t go out without the other. 

She offers a small smile, a tiny but honest smile, that Ghost has never seen, not even for Eris. “Thank you, Ghost. Thank you for bringing me back. I hope you can forgive me for seeking the answers I found.” she whispers, swallowing down the lump in her throat. She refuses to cry, not in front of others. 

Ghost stays silent, knows she seeks not an answer, but simply approval of her words. 

She stands up and nods. “I’m ready.”

She collapses to the ground when Crota vanishes from his realm, from the universe. For good. She’s gasping for air, knowing Ghost had barely any Light left to resurrect her once more. She lets out silent gasps, tears rolling down her blue cheeks as she hides her face from the other guardians. _The Dark did not take her._

Ghost does not feel the same relief as it takes her back to the Tower. The dark aura is still surrounding their future, it can feel it.

She and Eris kiss. Eris holds her, whispers soothing things in her ear as they embrace. Ghost feels left out, but it understands. The tears it sees rolling down its guardians cheeks are tears it can not wipe away. It goes back to their room, does not expect her to return that night. 

Oryx returns. She wakes up from Eris’ scream, gasping for air as Eris bolts up in the bed. She holds Eris, feels the same danger deep down in her Light. “ _Ghost_.” she gasps, needing its comfort more than ever. _The Dark has returned._  

“Do you know why I named you Ghost?” she asks, staring at the ceiling of her room. Ghost appears in her open hands. 

It looks at her, “Because you are bad at names.” it says, recalling her first words spoken to it. The machinery made a noise that imitated a fond laugh.

She scoffs, a soft sound. “I named you Ghost because I feel like one,” she whispers. staying silent for a moment. As if to process her own words. “Things I am unfamiliar with cause me panic attacks, I know nothing about who I was before, I got resurrected after being dead for _at least_  a century,” she takes a breath. “I am my own ghost.” she then murmurs, 

It is silent for a long time in the room, she fears Ghost may have shut down or malfunctioned. But it talks.

“I can not give you the answer you seek.” it then says, hurting for his guardian. 

“I know, Ghost,” she whispers, biting her lips. “I am not seeking the answers, I know they will harm me like they have others. But I can’t shake it off, why do I cower when somebody raises their voice when a rocket doesn’t even frighten me,” she murmurs, and Ghost understands.

“You are afraid,” it says softly, wording the facts she can not muster the courage for. 

She nods, breathing out a small sigh. “The Darkness Oryx spreads can kill you,” she whispers, her voice barely audible. She swallows thickly, not knowing what to do with the sudden emotions overwhelming her. “I can’t lose you. You’re the one who brought me into this timeline, in this war,” it is not an accusation but merely a fact. “If I lose you, I lose my connection to it all,” she stayed silent for a moment. “Who am I without my Ghost.”

Ghost stays silent, for once unable to find the words she needs. Thus, it simply decides to cozy up to her as much as it can, wanting to provide her comfort. “I found you near a car, but not _in_  one. You were carrying a gun,” it says softly. “I do not believe you were a refugee, I believe you were a fighter. I believe you fought for the right thing and went down protecting who you love.” 

She accepts its answer, but does not sleep that night.

_The Dark will take you._

_The Dark will take you._

_The Dark will take you._

_The Dark will take you._

Ghost hears her thoughts, even being with Eris does not quiet them anymore. It weeps for her, she does not deserve all the pressure she is given. But she stays standing, and it is so, so proud of her. It tells her every night, making sure she will stay standing. 

She dies. She dies so many times. Ghost feels her frustration and anger, her fear, her sadness. It resurrects her so many times, but it feels its light fading. It tries to stay as close as it can to the other guardians, but it can feel their ghosts dying out as well. They need to hurry up. 

She gets the last blow on Oryx, her hands shaking like they’ve never done before as she shoots down the gigantic creature that has been plaguing her dreams for months. She drops the gun when she kills him, but she forces herself to stay standing, gets out Ghost and makes sure it is okay. She can feel the Light returning, but it is not enough to dull the pain inside her that has been building up since her resurrection. 

She lost Ghost. She lost the Light, she lost all hope. 

She gasps as she awakens, her broken ribs immediately protesting against her movement. “Oh, _fuck_ ,” she gasps, eyes fluttering as she feels at her broken wrist. She has trouble breathing in the air she needs, gasping for small pockets of air. “G-Ghost…?” she whispers weakly, her lips dry. 

She is trembling as she gathers herself up from the crater left by her impact. Her survival is a miracle. Her loss of Ghost aches her heart, and she allows herself to weep in silence as she stands there. Her worst nightmare had come true, and it was _all her fault_ , she couldn’t fight back to Ghaul, couldn’t destroy him before he destroyed them.

It was a lost cause, and she was ready to drop back to the ground and die watching the stars, when she suddenly felt a single drop of Light still inside her. She recognised Ghost’s signature.

She couldn’t be fast enough as she stumbled down the slope and hid below the crashed ship. The City was in ruins, fire everywhere and Cabal stomping around. She remembers Ikora going after the Speaker, Zavala protecting the shuttles… But she can’t remember the others. She needs to find Ghost first, if it survived, she needs to find it.

She can’t call out, throat dry and too weak to suck the air needed in her lungs. She fell to the ground, the water splashing around her and refreshing her slightly. She was exhausted, but Ghost needed her. 

She grunted in pain as she got up again, her hands shaking more than ever now as she feels blood slowly running down her head. But she will find Ghost.

She breathes in short and rapid bursts as she stumbles forwards, when suddenly, “ _Vax!!!_ ”.

She looks up so fast she flinches, but she sees a slight blue beam. Ghost’s voice is distorted, but _oh my god she found it_ , she feels tears roll down her cheeks as she stumbles towards the bridge. 

“This is awful… awful… This can’t be happening,” Ghost mumbles, its voice monotone and weak. 

She lets out a shaky breath, opens her mouth, “Gh-..” she gasps, then falls to the ground, unable to get back up. “Ghost…” she slurs, vision starting to get blurry. 

“You’re alive… I thought I’d lost you.”

Just as she shuts her eyes a small smile slides across her face. She is home.


End file.
